| Why They Think You’re Still a Child | | | | 6) If you need advice, ask them. They have lived |
| If you want your parents to realize that you are | | | | long enough to know many life lessons. Also, if they |
| now a fully functioning adult person who does not | | | | don’t have an answer for you, they will |
| need to be tucked in, hand held or nurtured any | | | | probably know who to ask or where to seek |
| longer; then you are ready to learn 10 steps to | | | | qualified information. Don’t assume that |
| gently but firm make them aware of the person you | | | | because the world has changed drastically in recent |
| are now. In order to be patient with this process | | | | years, that your parents aren’t constantly |
| remember that they have known you since you | | | | learning and keeping current. People live much longer |
| were 19 or so inches long, helpless and could do | | | | now, and stay productive and involved. Information is |
| nothing but the most basic bodily involuntary | | | | easily accessible for everyone, and their need to |
| functions. That vulnerable beginning made a lasting | | | | know is integral to their well-being, just like you. |
| impression on them which is hard to erase. It might | | | | 7) Help your parents stay involved by encouraging |
| be best to strive for an updated version of that little | | | | them to learn new skills, such as blogging, speaking a |
| human being, because erasure is probably not | | | | second language, joining a travel club, or any other |
| possible. | | | | challenging activity. They will be happier, healthier, and |
| Ten Steps: | | | | your interest in them is selfless and another sign of |
| 1) Speak to them frequently. Express your feelings | | | | maturity, yours! |
| about the future, hopes, dreams, current aspirations, | | | | 8) If you find yourself having to discuss controversial |
| challenges, and perhaps even a five-year-plan for | | | | issues like you choice of political party, or why you |
| advancement, to reach your goals. | | | | aren’t seeing a certain person that they both |
| 2) Take them out to dinner, if possible, or do | | | | know and like, anymore; try to discuss this touchy |
| something as a family. Pay for whatever the activity | | | | stuff from your perspective, but without getting too |
| is, instead of having them pay. If you live a distance | | | | emotional, or being disrespectful and defensive. |
| away, threat them to a trip to your new location. Let | | | | Controlling these feelings and being open and truthful, |
| them see that you wish to include them in the life | | | | is reassuring for parents, who are prone to worry |
| you’re building, now that you are on your | | | | when they don’t understand the reasoning for |
| own. | | | | pivotal choices or decisions you’ve made. |
| 3) Let go of the endearing names you called them | | | | 9) Set boundaries about things you are not |
| when you were a child, like “mommy” | | | | comfortable discussing and subjects which are too |
| and “daddy”. “Mom” and | | | | private and personal to share. Again, this kind of |
| “dad” sounds better coming from their | | | | courteous, but somewhat limiting behavior lets them |
| twenty-something (or older) son or daughter, and | | | | know that you value yourself and your privacy as an |
| when you treat them as adults, they will see that | | | | adult. |
| you have truly matured. | | | | 10) Finally, and most importantly tell them often that |
| 4) Discuss politics, economic trends, the | | | | you love and value them as parents, as people, and |
| “Dow”, and health issues that are | | | | as human beings. Hug them, look into their eyes and |
| currently topical, and demonstrate your varied | | | | listen to them. |
| interests, opinions and knowledge of the real world. | | | | Results |
| 5) Listen to your parents. You don’t have to | | | | If you want to connect on a truly adult level, let your |
| agree with their point of view, but really listen. Show | | | | actions, and interest in them, show your parents that |
| them that you respect their life experiences and | | | | you are a mature, intelligent, value-oriented adult. |
| values. | | | | |