| As a leather repair and restoration expert, I receive | | | | technician. The client is a prominent physician and was |
| e-mails with photos from people all over the country | | | | present upon arrival. He and his designer went off to |
| and beyond. Sometimes they are seeking solutions | | | | another part of his house to discuss decor. With the |
| for pretty dumb actions that have caused serious | | | | assignment completed, I called him in and as he |
| damage to their leather furniture. With 23 years | | | | examined the repaired area, with a look of |
| experience inspecting leather furniture either on-site | | | | amazement exclaimed, "It's gone. How did you do |
| or in my leather restoration studio, I have also | | | | that?" Lightheartedly I said, "We use lasers." He called |
| witnessed first-hand abuses and hear comments | | | | out to his designer to see the repair. When she |
| proving that idiocy is an occasional human | | | | arrived, he said to her, "Look, the damage is gone. |
| phenomenon. Here is a list of my top ten dumbest in | | | | They use lasers to fix it." I had to explain to the |
| no specific order as any one can grab the top spot. | | | | sheepish doctor that I was joking. |
| Names are removed to protect their reputation. | | | | 9. After carefully restoring a beautiful chair and |
| 1. I used my leather ottoman as an ironing board. The | | | | ottoman in our Hayward shop, the client arrived in a |
| leather is totally shrunken and distorted. Can you help | | | | pick-up truck to bring the pieces back to his home. |
| me? | | | | He inspected the furniture and was delighted with the |
| 2. I saw an article on the internet that said to use | | | | results. To prepare it for transit, we covered it in |
| bleach to clean leather. It didn't work so great. The | | | | plastic and shrink-wrap as is our standard practice. |
| leather is clean I guess, but it's disintegrating on me. | | | | The client and I loaded it into the back of his pick up |
| What can I do? | | | | I asked if he had rope to secure it. He assured me |
| 3. I steam cleaned my leather sofa with the | | | | that he did. At which point my office phone rang. I |
| upholstery attachment to my steam cleaner. The | | | | turned back into my office to take the call. The client |
| leather turned dark and seemed to have shrunk. | | | | promptly left. On his way across the San Mateo |
| Please help!! | | | | Bridge, at 70 or so miles an hour, the unsecured |
| 4. I was practicing my golf swing and punched a hole | | | | furniture pretended to be a kite and silently lifted out |
| in the back of my beautiful leather sofa. It was a 6 | | | | of the bed of the truck, tumbling through the air like |
| iron. Is this something you can fix? | | | | a wounded duck. Gravity took over. It flipped and |
| 5. I had a party and moved my love seat into my | | | | turned and smashed and crashed. Road kill. 45 |
| back yard. I had it too close to the barbecue. The | | | | minutes later he was back in our shop with a |
| whole back of my love seat got fried. What can I | | | | severely damage piece including a broken frame. Cost |
| do? | | | | to repair the damage exceeded the value of the |
| 6. My 3-year-old son got ink on my new leather | | | | piece. It remains in my shop as a relic and testament |
| cushion. After I disciplined him severely I tried to | | | | to the frailty of the human brain. |
| remove the ink with rubbing alcohol like it said to do | | | | 10. A client owns an auto detailing shop. His customer |
| on some web-site. The ink is still there but the | | | | has a BMW with leather interior. The auto-detailer |
| leather color is gone. (The client brought the cushion | | | | assigned the interior cleaning task to one of his |
| in my shop. In this case, there was a hide scar on | | | | grease monkey techs. Thinking it would be a fast and |
| the leather and as is often the case, the scar tissue | | | | easy way to clean leather he grabbed his trusty |
| absorbed higher concentration of color making it | | | | engine degreaser and vigorously applied it to all |
| darker than the surrounding leather, appearing to the | | | | leather components. Of course it pulled the color coat |
| client as an ink stripe. We restored the color to the | | | | off, exposing the raw leather. (As an aside, here is a |
| alcohol afflicted area. The innocent child is still in | | | | list of other chemicals that our clients were told by |
| therapy.) | | | | supposed experts would be proper for the cleaning |
| 7. Upon arrival to the client's home to inspect for | | | | of their leather --- mayonnaise, acetone, milk, honey, |
| claimed defects in the leather of a huge new | | | | baby oil, detergents of all types, saddle soap. ) |
| sectional, I noted a few dozen post-it notes | | | | Bonus award: Client called to say that he's cleaned his |
| scattered here and there on the leather. The client | | | | sofa with 409. Upon full completion of the project he |
| applied them to show all the "defects." Upon | | | | realized that 409 is far too aggressive and has |
| examination of the first problem area, I pointed out | | | | severely distorted the color coating. He was shocked |
| that it was not a defect, rather a natural | | | | and was preparing to sue 409's manufacturer. His |
| characteristic in the leather. She seemed confused. So | | | | reasoning for the suit was that there was no warning |
| I explained that the cow may have rubbed against | | | | on the label not to use it on leather. When I pointed |
| barbed wire, causing the wound, and that it is fully | | | | out to him that there was also no warning about |
| healed hide scar and not a defect. She said; "What | | | | using it on your face, he didn't get the connection. |
| do you mean a cow?" I waved my arm toward the | | | | Asked why he didn't stop after he completed a |
| sectional and replied, "Ma'am you have a whole herd | | | | section and noticed the damage, he explained that he |
| of cows here." At which point she dropped to the | | | | thought when it fully dried it would return to normal. |
| floor, sobbing, "What have I done? What have I | | | | Duh! |
| done?" Turns out she's vegan and had no idea leather | | | | The moral here is to think before you act and if in |
| came from a cow. Opppps. | | | | doubt at all, contact a qualified leather restoration |
| 8. Asked to do a repair for transit damage in a | | | | professional for advice. |
| client's home, I arrived on site with my senior | | | | |