Meet the Faces of Exploitation in Estate Settlement

The face of exploitation is often a familiar face whofor me?"
comes into a senior's world during times of fragility.Uninformed relative
These faces often exploit intentionally, as if to "kickThis relative assumes the senior has a houseful of
a horse when it is down." The senior may be havingjunk and the main motivation is to get rid of it all as
health or memory challenges, or simply cannot handlequickly as possible. That's why a personal property
the upkeep of a large home; along comes someappraiser should be called in by the executor to
vulture-like creatures. While some of these faces areascertain what has value versus what does not. It is
familiar, others are strangers who appear for aat this time that many buyers and dealers will surface
one-time encounter.and offer small amounts of money for personal
Exploitation always wears an expression ofproperty to "take it off your hands." This should be a
selfishness, insensitivity, or greed that can be maskedred flag. First, know the value, then let it go.
with kindness, but will eventually show its true colors.Guilty relative
Those mischief makers could be stopped dead inBecause this relative was not present most of the
their tracks if the senior, or boomer children, hadtime, they may feel guilty and almost paralyzed when
knowledge of what the personal property wasthey must deal with the distribution of property.
worth, prior to selling or distributing in any way. If theThey will do the responsible thing, but do it with
neighbor hears that mom is going into assisted living,hidden or introverted resentment. They will act out
she should not go over to the home and ask for thetheir anger with others working on the project, or
antique desk she has always admired. This is simplyblame themselves for not being more attentive.
not appropriate. The desk should be evaluated firstUnappreciative relative
to uncover the value, whether monetary orThese relatives do not want what the senior values.
sentimental, and the children or heirs decide if theyThey have no sentimental or emotional regard for
would like it. Family is always first, unless the seniorwhat the senior has accumulated. This type will often
has reasons otherwise.act in haste, unknowingly getting rid of something
Problems occur when grieving children, relatives,that may have significant value.
neighbors, or close friends are burdened with theGreedy relative
pressures in dealing with the estate and theThis relative makes their desires known up front and
overwhelming task of disposing of the stuff lefton a consistent basis. They want as much as they
behind. Exploitation could be greatly minimized if thecan get, and they know who they are and how
parent and children were on the same page bydifficult they are to work with. They are usually the
empowering themselves to have items of value andmost unreasonable in all their dealings.
heirlooms appraised. If this is the desire of the seniorFaces of Friends and Neighbors
parent, the items should then be equitably distributed,Good friends
either at the time of death or prior to death. ThenThey have been there through thick and thin, and
those meaning to exploit wouldn't have much of atreated the senior with patience and respect. They
chance!are the "givers" and can be local or long distance.
Here are the faces of estate settlement, whetherGood friends should be offered a favorite piece or
kind or exploiting:memento as a symbol of friendship and generosity.
Faces of RelativesTrue and caring neighbors also fall into this category.
Closest relative (usually child)To avoid any feuding, the memento should be on a
The loving child is what every senior hopes to havemaster list for the executor, or given while still living
at the end. They are not generally concerned aboutto avoid any future problems.
"what's in it for me" and will often step up and handleSelf-motivated friends
loose ends. They are responsible in doing what theyWe all have them in our circle of acquaintances; we
think the senior would have wanted them to do,know they are the "takers", yet we find them
when acting on their behalf. They simply get it doneamusing or entertaining. They show up because of
to the best of their ability.the motivation to collect something from the estate,
Well-meaning relativebecause they simply want it or feel they are entitled
The well-meaning relative is loving and caring, but isto it.
usually geographically removed from the senior andThe unprofessional Professional
can't take the necessary time off to help on aThese people have no attachment to the family or
long-term basis. However, the well-meaning relativedecedent, but will show up in a moment of crisis.
always works cooperatively with another familyThey know some of the senior's items are valuable
member, friend, or paid representative to do theand they aim to take advantage. Sad, but true.
right thing at all times when distributing the senior'sUsually they will offer to buy the estate or partial
personal property.estate for a lump sum of money, which is usually
Estranged relativequite low. This should send up a red flag. Lacking
This relative rarely was close to the senior to act asintegrity, scruples, and sensitivity, these people are
physical or mental support to them. However, thisoutwardly courteous, but have their eye on the
estranged relative always appears quickly whentarget. Always check the local BBB to make sure
timing is right to collect on personal goods. It's hardthere are no unresolved complaints against the
for them to disguise their attitude of "what's in thisprofessional you consider hiring.